A great gift any parent can give his children is a healthy self- esteem.Every child is a unique
creation of Allah( SWT) and that the other person is not necessarily better than you but rather
different from you.Comparisons are odious .The dua you make when you look at the mirror is Ya
Allah I am beautiful in the outside also make my character beautiful.
Self – esteem has got nothing to do with how wealthy you are or how good looking you are
what titles you possess.So what is self- esteem ?
Self-esteem refers to the way you feel about yourself, like how much you value and respect
yourself. It’s about you feeling worthy of love, respect and success .It is really about celebrating
your uniqueness.
Let us look at the attributes of children with high self- esteem.
- Confident
- Resilient
- Assertive
- Positive self- image
- Self – accepting
- Decisive
- Humble
- Effective Communicator
- Happy for other people’s success
- Generosity of heart.
- Optimistic
Let us now look at children with low – self esteem. - Self – doubt
- People pleaser
- Victim mentality
- Pessimistic
- Suspicious
- Succumb to negative peer pressure
- Indecisive
- Require constant validation
- Negative self -talk
- Perfectionist
- Self – critical
Why is High Self-Esteem so important?
Having high self-esteem is crucial for mental well-being, relationships, and overall success. It
helps you: - Develop resilience and cope with challenges
- Build strong, healthy relationships
- Take risks and pursue opportunities
- Focus on your strengths and accomplishments
- Practice self-care and self-compassion
Here are some reasons why kids might struggle with self-esteem.
- Too much criticism
- Unrealistic expectations
- Comparison to others
- Lack of praise or recognition
- Bullying or peer pressure
- Overprotection or lack of independence
- Negative self-talk
- Unhealthy social media comparisons
- Lack of opportunities or successes
- Unstable home – environment.
Here are some ways parents can boost their children’s self-esteem
- Praise effort, not just talent: Focus on the process, not just the outcome
- Listen actively: Show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings
- Encourage independence: Give them space to make decisions and learn from mistakes
- Foster a growth mindset: Emphasize challenges as opportunities for growth
- Show unconditional love and acceptance: Love them for who they are, no matter what
- Set realistic expectations: Celebrate small wins and progress
- Model positive self-talk: Show them how to be kind to themselves
- Provide opportunities for success: Help them find their strengths and interests
- Ensure your children have good friends
- Ensure that your children exercise.
- Ensure that they pray
Remember the 7 As
Acknowledge:”I see you’re really proud of that drawing! You worked hard on it.”
Example: A nod, smile, or verbal acknowledgement of their effort.
Appreciate:”Thanks for helping me with the dishes, it really helped me out!”
Example: Express gratitude for their actions or contributions.
Give Affection: A warm hug, high-five, or gentle pat on the back.
Example: Physical touch that shows love and care.
Give Attention: Tell me more about your day, I’m listening!”
Example: Active listening, maintaining eye contact, and engaging in conversation.
Affirm: - Use positive language: “You’re amazing!”
- Focus on effort, not just achievement: “I love how hard you worked on that project.”
- Validate their feelings: “I understand you’re feeling upset right now.”
Accept: - Unconditional love: “I love you no matter what.”
- Accept their uniqueness: “It’s okay to be different, you’re special just the way you are.”
- Avoid criticism or judgment: Focus on the behavior, not the child.
Show acceptance through actions: - Spend quality time together
- Listen actively and attentively
- Respect their boundaries and feelings
- Show physical affection like hugs or high-fives
Give them positive attributes.
Example..” Someday you will be a leader Yusuf.”
By doing the above you will Insha-Allah have children with a positive self- image.
Finally ,do pray for them.